WISDOM IN DISCIPLINE

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In Christ, Mark

The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.

A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.

Proverbs 29:15, 17

This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

Want to light the fuse on a powder keg topic within Christianity?

Get into a discussion about child discipline.

You typically will find two sides of the debate with the fulcrum being the matter of corporal punishment.

One side advocates never striking your child but seeking alternative disciplinary methods instead. The other will turn to the word of God and show where corporal punishment is not only appropriate but advisable. The Book of Proverbs can often be found in the center of this discussion as we will see in our two verses for today from Chapter 29:

A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother. Proverbs 29:15

Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire. Proverbs 29:17

Going back to the argument on disciplining children, I think all can agree that children need disciplined. It’s there that common ground can be found in the discussion.

The scriptures warn us that not disciplining will create problems not only for the child but for the parent as well who will end up disgraced in the end. Conversely, discipline you child and you will experience peace and delights, something every parent desires. We all love to delight in our children and their behaviors, when positive, good, and right, do indeed bring parents peace.

Yes, all will agree discipline is needed. It’s the methodology that brings people either into agreement or difference with one another.

Looking again at verse 15, we will typically find agreement between Christian parents that children should be reprimanded and that those reprimands impart wisdom on children. A child is ever learning and the root meaning of the word “discipline” is “to teach.” And so when children err in ways that warrant correction, parents are to rectify negative behavior, teaching the child that their behavior is unacceptable.

But what happens when your reprimands begin to fail in their effectiveness? What do you do when your children choose to blatantly defy their parents and stubbornly lean toward disobedience?

This is where additional measures could be prescribed and the scriptures not only support the application of these measures but also advocate for the use of them. For if the reprimand is not taken seriously, then one may need to use the rod to reinforce the need for the child to honor their father and mother as God commanded.    

The Hebrew word translated as “rod” in Proverbs is “shevet” and could represent a staff or stick used as a means of discipline. A child who chose to be rebellious, insolent, and insubordinate may need more extreme discipline to correct behavior. Far better for them to learn obedience to the Lord and His word when younger than grow into adulthood and then face the wrath of God, correction far worse than being struck with a stick.

Now, before anyone begins to rail against me, the word of God says this. Like it or not, His word is truth and we are to be obedient to all of it. We cannot go down the slippery slope of picking and choosing which parts of the word of the Lord we will heed and which we won’t. Perhaps in the matter of being wise in discipline, we would best be able to resolve the debate by considering three key points:

1. Before we make any decision in dealing with our children and their negative behavior, we should be praying for the Lord’s will in how we should act.

This is the key when it comes to all behaviors in life, right? We’ll never go wrong when we turn our trust to the One who will always render proper direction and guidance. If the Lord deems for the rod to be used, then it’s for a purpose and we should use it only to the degree warranted. This leads me to points two and three.

2. Extreme physical discipline is not sanctioned through the scriptures.

Woe be it to anyone who tries to mask abuse as discipline. Look at the following word of the Lord from Paul’s letter to the Colossians:

Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits. Colossians 3:21 (The Message)

A child with a crushed spirit is damaged not taught. We’re not to spare the rod (Proverbs 13:24) but we’re not to misuse it either and all parents need to understand that the God who placed His children in their care is the same God who watches everything they do in raising those children to include the way they are disciplined. There is always an accountability point to the Lord when it comes to correction and parenting.

3. Jesus has a special place in His heart for children.

Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  Matthew 19:13-14

There can be no questioning the love Jesus has for everyone but we can see here that He has a particularly strong fondness for little children. As Christians, we are to adopt this same sense of affection and no one with that sense of devotion would discipline in a spirit of cruelty or malice vice one of love. Jesus will not stand for the children He holds so dear to be mistreated. Neither should anyone else.

The message today is that there is wisdom in the application of discipline and one will only discipline wisely if they allow the Lord to guide that discipline. He, as He does in all other matters, settles the debate between what is right and wrong because He is perfectly righteous in every way.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

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