AVOID PATRONIZING

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In Christ, Mark

The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.

Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue.

Proverbs 28:23

This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

WRITER’S NOTE: After today, I will be on a ship and heading back to the United States. I will try and post while away as much as possible but if for some reason connectivity does not allow it, I will be posting daily again once I arrive home.

A recent insurance commercial humorously makes the statement that Pinocchio was a poor motivational speaker, moving to a scene where Pinocchio is speaking to a gathering of people at a convention. Looking at the people in the room, particularly one gentleman sitting in a chair who looks less than motivated, Pinocchio points several times and says, “You have potential” with his nose growing a little longer each time. Of course, the implication here is that Pinocchio is lying and doesn’t really see anyone there as having potential.

We laugh at this commercial but it’s more telling than we may want to admit.

I say this because we often are like the Pinocchio in the commercial, saying things to people that we really don’t mean, throwing around insincere compliments and essentially lying to them in the process.

This deceitful form of flattery has a name and it’s patronizing.  

I don’t know about you but I really despise people who are so dishonest and cruel that they can’t be real with people. I saw it happen over and over again in the Navy with leaders convincing Sailors they were performing great when they were only performing marginally at best. Afraid or unwilling to be sincere and frank with their people, they instead planted false seeds of hope and promise in them, seeds of hope and promise that wouldn’t produce blossoms of self esteem from success but rather thorns of disappointment from failure. Their blatant misleading of people is nothing short of sinfulness and thus out of the favor of the Lord.

This matter of patronizing someone came to mind as I read today’s proverb, the 23 rd verse of Proverbs, Chapter 28, for the Lord has words of advice for all people today. Look at this verse again:

Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue.

In the case of someone who has a flaw in character, we’re to be brutally candid with them about where they are falling short, not use a flattering tongue to make them believe that they are fine. For in lying about the truth of the matter, we play a part in permitting the person to continue exercising negative behavior vice be a party to correcting deficiencies that can help the person become better and more successful. Conversely, providing caring and compassionate rebuke can help a person become more like who the Lord wants them to be, an occurrence that brings His favor to both the rebuker and the rebukee.

Think about that next time you need to make a choice about whether or not to compliment. Be truthful, be real, and be authentic in the way you deal with others. It’s the best policy for them, the best policy for you, and most of all, the policy the Lord wishes for us to adopt and that’s all that matters.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

PS: Please share this with anyone you feel might be blessed by it.

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