CONFLICT RESOLUTION

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In Christ, Mark

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Meanwhile, Abner, son of Ner, the commander of Saul's army, had taken Ish-Bosheth, son of Saul and brought him over to Mahanaim. He made him king over Gilead, Ashuri, and Jezreel, and also over Ephraim, Benjamin, and all Israel.

Ish-Bosheth, son of Saul, was forty years old when he became king over Israel, and he reigned two years. The house of Judah, however, followed David. The length of time David was king in Hebron over the house of Judah was seven years and six months.

Abner, son of Ner, together with the men of Ish-Bosheth, son of Saul, left Mahanaim and went to Gibeon. Joab, son of Zeruiah, and David's men went out and met them at the pool of Gibeon. One group sat down on one side of the pool and one group on the other side.

Then Abner said to Joab, "Let's have some of the young men get up and fight hand to hand in front of us."

"All right, let them do it," Joab said.

So they stood up and were counted off—twelve men for Benjamin and Ish-Bosheth, son of Saul, and twelve for David. Then each man grabbed his opponent by the head and thrust his dagger into his opponent's side and they fell down together. So that place in Gibeon was called Helkath Hazzurim.

The battle that day was very fierce and Abner and the men of Israel were defeated by David's men.

The three sons of Zeruiah were there: Joab, Abishai, and Asahel. Now Asahel was as fleet-footed as a wild gazelle. He chased Abner, turning neither to the right nor to the left as he pursued him. Abner looked behind him and asked, "Is that you, Asahel?"

"It is," he answered.

Then Abner said to him, "Turn aside to the right or to the left; take on one of the young men and strip him of his weapons."

But Asahel would not stop chasing him.

Again Abner warned Asahel, "Stop chasing me! Why should I strike you down? How could I look your brother Joab in the face?"

But Asahel refused to give up the pursuit; so Abner thrust the butt of his spear into Asahel's stomach and the spear came out through his back. He fell there and died on the spot. And every man stopped when he came to the place where Asahel had fallen and died.

But Joab and Abishai pursued Abner and as the sun was setting, they came to the hill of Ammah, near Giah on the way to the wasteland of Gibeon. Then the men of Benjamin rallied behind Abner. They formed themselves into a group and took their stand on top of a hill.

Abner called out to Joab, "Must the sword devour forever? Don't you realize that this will end in bitterness? How long before you order your men to stop pursuing their brothers?"

Joab answered, "As surely as God lives, if you had not spoken, the men would have continued the pursuit of their brothers until morning." So Joab blew the trumpet, and all the men came to a halt; they no longer pursued Israel, nor did they fight anymore.

All that night Abner and his men marched through the Arabah. They crossed the Jordan, continued through the whole Bithron and came to Mahanaim.

Then Joab returned from pursuing Abner and assembled all his men. Besides Asahel, nineteen of David's men were found missing. But David's men had killed three hundred and sixty Benjamites who were with Abner. They took Asahel and buried him in his father's tomb at Bethlehem. Then Joab and his men marched all night and arrived at Hebron by daybreak.

The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker.

Sons were born to David in Hebron:

His firstborn was Amnon. the son of Ahinoam of Jezreel; his second, Kileab, the son of Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel; the third, Absalom, the son of Maacah, daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur; the fourth, Adonijah, the son of Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah, the son of Abital; and the sixth, Ithream, the son of David's wife Eglah.

These were born to David in Hebron.

2 Samuel 2:8-32, 3:1-5

This ends our reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

With David anointed king of Judah and Saul dead, Israel was left without a king. And although it had already been determined by God that David would become king of all Israel, that had not happened yet.

For we read in chapter 2 of 2nd Samuel that “Abner…the commander of Saul's army” appointed “Ish-Bosheth, son of Saul” to be king over Gilead, Ashuri, and Jezreel, and also over Ephraim, Benjamin, and all Israel. This lets us know that all of Saul’s sons weren’t killed in the battle with the Philistines. We also learn where his army commander, Abner, also survived the battle.

Well, Abner’s actions resulted in two ruling parties in Israel and laid the foundation for what was to come as they would compete for absolute power, property, and authority, and while doing so, clearly show the deep cost that comes with conflict.

The plan to determine who would have ultimate rule over all of Israel began at “the pool of Gibeon”. There, “Abner…together with the men of Ish-Bosheth” met “Joab…and David's men” with one group (sitting) down on one side of the pool and one group (sitting) on the other side”. Once there, Abner and Joab agree to try and settle the matter through hand-to-hand combat between a small faction of each group.

And so each group stood and “were counted off — twelve men for Benjamin and Ish-Bosheth…and twelve for David. Ironically, the number of men chosen coincided with the number of tribes in Israel. We read where the combat began but ended quickly when “each man grabbed his opponent by the head and thrust his dagger into his opponent's side, and they fell down together” All men, twelve from each side, fell dead and so nothing was resolved except for needless death.

Of note, we should see that neither Abner or Joab asked God what they should do. Rather, they devised their own plan as to how they would resolve the conflict and the outcome was tragic.

So would they realize that mistake and seek God’s guidance now?

We see that they didn’t for after the twenty-four men fell dead from the hand-to-hand combat, a very fierce battle ensued which resulted in “Abner and the men of Israel” being “defeated by David's men”.

Now, not wishing to die himself, we read where Abner fled the battle scene but was far from being out of danger. For in hot pursuit was Joab’s brother, Asahel, who was described as being “as fleet-footed as a wild gazelle”. Asahel used this speed to chase down Abner, “turning neither to the right nor to the left as he pursued him”.

Well, Abner, seeing Asahel following him, asks him to break off his chase and “turn aside to the right or to the left” to “take on one of the young men”. Through his words, we see where Abner didn’t want to harm Asahel and so he tried to convince him to go after someone else that he had a better chance of defeating but unfortunately, Asahel refused to listen and continued the chase.

The scriptures tell us that Abner warned Asahel once again saying:

“Stop chasing me! Why should I strike you down? How could I look your brother Joab in the face?"

Abner knew he would easily be able to kill Asahel if he had to but Asahel was stubbornly committed in his desire to fight Abner and “refused to give up the pursuit”. It was a decision that led to his death as Abner turned and “thrust the butt of his spear into Asahel's stomach”. Asahel’s forward momentum was so great that “the spear came out through his back” and “he fell there and died on the spot”.

As for the rest of David’s men, we read where they ran forward and when they “came to the place where Asahel had fallen and died”, they stopped, not wanting to die as he did. But “Joab and Abishai” carried on, pursuing Abner with an obvious thirst for avenging their brother’s death.

With this, would there be more bloodshed to follow as “the sun was setting” and both groups met again, taking their stand on “the hill of Ammah, near Giah”?

The answer would have been a definite “yes” had it not been for a change of attitude from each side.

For we see where “Abner called out to Joab”, attempting to inject some reason into what was happening as he said:

"Must the sword devour forever? Don't you realize that this will end in bitterness? How long before you order your men to stop pursuing their brothers?"

Indeed, Joab’s brother was already dead as well as the twelve men who died in the combat at the pool of Gibeon and nineteen other men of David. The loss was even greater on Abner’s side as “three hundred and sixty Benjamites” who were with him died along with the twelve men at Gibeon. Given all this, Abner’s words were timely and effective.

For we read where Joab answered:

"As surely as God lives, if you had not spoken, the men would have continued the pursuit of their brothers until morning.”

And with that, “Joab blew the trumpet, and all the men came to a halt; they no longer pursued Israel, nor did they fight anymore”. A truce had been made and the fighting ended, each side returning to their respective homes with Asahel being buried in his father's tomb at Bethlehem as David’s men returned to Hebron.

Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be the last clash between “the house of Saul and the house of David”. Scripture tells us that their war “lasted a long time” with David’s side growing “stronger and stronger” while “the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker”. It would only be a matter of time before David would end up where God intended him to be…king over all of Israel.

Today’s scripture passage underscores the dangerous nature of conflict. And although, this account dealt with the perils on the battlefield, we know that conflict isn’t only found in the context of war where death so often occurs.

For what about when we get into disputes with others? Can’t these non-lethal clashes spiral out of control and lead to damaged relationships with others?

The answer is obviously “yes” and maybe you have had the displeasure of being in the midst of one of these situations.

I know I have.

You see, arguments and disagreements, if unchecked, sow seeds of dissent, hatred, and anger…emotions that will suck the very life out of the kind of relationship that God expects us to have with one another. These negative emotions breed contempt and resentment…and when they go unchecked, it can lead people to go to with one another…sometimes with fatal results.

So what are we to do in life when we are faced with conflict?

We need to avoid making the mistake that Abner and Joab did and turn to the Lord Jesus, the One that God the Father sent to show us how to live…both now and forever. For our Savior, as He did in all things, gave us clear guidance as to how we’re to deal with enemies when they come upon us. Consider these words:

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:27-36

The Old Testament way of dealing with enemies was an eye for an eye. You would do unto others as they did unto you or someone you loved. It was an attitude that was conflict-driven.

Jesus turned this attitude completely upside down and changed it so to be centered on the one thing that defined him more than any other…love. For we read where He instructs us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us…to bless those who curse us and pray for those who mistreat us. The world would say that approach is crazy but that’s what Jesus wants. He always seeks to grab the world’s attention to His ways by radically putting them on display through His actions and those of His disciples.

Think about it for a moment.

If a Christian behaves the same way as their enemies, then how are they any better or different?

This is what Jesus is trying to get across when He said:

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full.”

It’s obvious He doesn’t expect His followers to act as the world acts. Rather, they are to act as He acted. After all, isn’t the base root of the word Christian, “Christ”? If we’re truly going to profess the identity of “Christian”, then we need to show everyone how He lived through our lives…and when we do, then and only then will we be able to be merciful as our Father, His Father, is merciful.

Friends, it’s inevitable that we will run into enemies as we live this thing called life, enemies through which we will enter into conflict with. Thankfully, we know how to resolve those disputes when they happen for Jesus has shown us the way.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

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