WHAT TRUE FRIENDSHIP LOOKS LIKE

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In Christ, Mark

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The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

From that day, Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow, and his belt.

1 Samuel 18:1-4

This ends our reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

In 1st Samuel, chapter 17, we covered the well-known Bible account of a young boy named David who emerged as a hero among the Israelites after stepping forward and slinging one fatal smooth stone which killed the warrior giant Goliath. This sent the nation of Israel onto victory in their battle with the Philistines.

After this, David’s bravery and courage led Saul, Israel’s king, to not only want to speak to him but we read that he “kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house”. Little did Saul know that it was David who God had chosen to take his place on the throne.

Well, as David left his home and was given a high rank in Saul’s army, the scriptures tell us that he gained a friend as well…Saul’s son Jonathan…and it is in the early verses of chapter 18 that we catch a glimpse of what true friendship looks like.

Note here that I said true friendship. For it seems that it’s very hard to find friends who are loyal in life…friends who are devoted and caring and loving…friends who are willing to put themselves aside for the good of another.

Unfortunately, we find that people often just want to be with us because they want something from us. They don’t value us as much as what we have. With this kind of friend, we usually see that there’s always some string attached. For as long as you satisfy their wants, then they will be there for you…but don’t fulfill what they want from you and see how their devotion goes away quickly as they seek someone else to try and get what they want.

That isn’t friendship. Rather, it’s exploitation.

So how can we know when we have a true friend?

In examining Jonathan and his loving dedication towards David, I think we can identify the important qualities of a true friend…qualities we should look for as we seek genuinely faithful companions in life.

First, Jonathan became “one in spirit with David”. You’ve may have heard or experienced the expression “kindred spirits” before. It’s when you are so in tune with another person that you always seem to be aligned, even mirror images of one another.

I know my wife and her sister are like this. Talk about friends! They are closer than any two people I have ever met and are the best two models of what pure and true friendship looks like. This is because they are “one in spirit” with one another…and when I’m talking about spirit here, I’m talking about THE Spirit…the Holy Spirit.

Indeed, it was God the Father…the Lord Almighty…that Jonathan had placed his trust in when he bravely attacked the Philistine outpost with his armor bearer. Later, it was that same God the Father…the Lord…that David placed His faith in when he stepped out to fight Goliath. Individually, Jonathan and David had more than shown their devotion to the Lord and now they would be able to share that same sense of devotion as buddies for true friends are, first and foremost, one in the Holy Spirit.

This in and of itself would be enough but there’s even more for we see Jonathan making a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. The key word here is love…for it’s impossible to have true friendship if you don’t have true love.

Some time ago, I wrote a quote that simply goes like this:

“Communication is the lifeblood of relationship”

Then, I wrote a second one that is similar only in framework:

“Love is the heartbeat of relationship.”

It’s true, right?

For if we take love out of a relationship, it won’t survive…and don’t just take my word on it. Look at these words from Jesus when He was asked about the greatest commandment:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.’" Matthew 22:36-39

Looking at the Bible, we see that Jesus wasn’t the first to recite those words, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Rather, He quoted words from His Father who spoke them in the Book of Leviticus:

"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18

Here we learn that being a true friend means you have to love someone just as you love yourself…and that means you hold the deep desire to care for them just as you would care for yourself.

You see, true friendship, a friendship where two people each have the indwelling of God’s Spirit, is always grounded in love because the Spirit will always bind two hearts together perfectly.

So we have seen that true friendship involves being one in God’s Spirit and grounded in His love. It also requires self sacrifice.

For as we go back to our scripture passage, we see where Jonathan “took off (his) robe…and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow, and his belt”. In other words, Jonathan was willing to freely give David anything he had…such was the level of devotion he held for him.

We should note here that there are no conditions attached to Jonathan’s giving. Not one. He gave to David freely, not because he had some ulterior motive or sought to gain something in return. Rather, Jonathan gave because he loved David as a true friend and would be willing to do anything for him.

And as we will see, this truth will further be revealed as we continue to study this friendship.

So our passage today contains a lot in just four verses. For in them, we find God giving us a glimpse of what true friendship requires:

(1) being one in God’s Spirit

(2) being balanced in love

and

(3) being willing to self sacrifice.

Come to think of it…we find all this perfectly carried out by our awesome Friend Jesus…the only Friend we can count on, no matter what…the Friend who will always be one in God’s Spirit with us…the Friend who is perfectly grounded in love…the Friend who showed us the definition of self sacrifice when He allowed Himself to be crucified on the cross to pay the price for our sins.

Friends, I could have maybe made this message shorter if I had used just one statement:

You can only be a true friend when you become a friend like Jesus.

I could have done that but He wanted me to say so much more to you today and I pray you will receive them as friends of the Savior of the world…the best Friend a person could ever have.  

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

PS: Feel free to leave a comment and please share this with anyone you feel might be blessed by it. Send any prayer requests to TheChristianWalkPrayers@gmail.com