THE PRINCIPLES OF A LOVING, GODLY RELATIONSHIP – MAN TO WOMAN (PART 1 – PRAISE HER BEAUTY)

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In Christ, Mark

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The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.

I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels. We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver.

How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women.

How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling, as lovely as Jerusalem, as majestic as troops with banners. Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing. Each has its twin, not one of them is missing. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate.

How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.

Song of Songs 1:9-11, 15; 2:2; 4:1-7; 6:4-7; 7:1-9a  

This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

I remember the day as if it were yesterday even though it was more than 21 years ago. I was in a local elementary school and had just finished up my weekly volunteering in a couple of third grade classrooms, assisting the teachers with their students. As always, I was in my Navy uniform for I was participating in the Adopt-A-School program through the ship I was serving on.

As I went to exit the building, I came to the area just outside the cafeteria and school office, an open area, usually bustling with activity with students transiting the hallways being guided by their teachers. As I looked, I saw the assistant principal standing there doing what she normally would do during the day, monitoring how things were going with the students that were under her overall care. She was such a beautiful woman and always dressed exquisitely, a woman I always thought would be way out of my league. After all, I was this small town guy from Western Pennsylvania and a career Sailor, more blue-collar than executive at the time.

But there was no doubt that this woman had it all together and had been blessed by God with the gift of magnificent attractiveness as well as intellect. I know because we had spoken before on three different occasions. And on this day, there would be a fourth.

For the assistant principal set eyes on me and we spoke with one another again, only this time our conversation turned a little different. She started talking about what she was going to be doing on the weekend, that she was going to the movies. There was no mention of anyone accompanying her and so I asked her if she was going alone as I was single and would have loved to spend some time with this beautiful lady outside of the school. Well, the question was met with the response that she was going out with someone but then she added that he didn’t know what direction he was going before she got called away and excused herself from our conversation bidding me farewell. I was left wondering whether or not she was really in a committed relationship or not.

Could there be a chance that this ordinary guy could go on a date with such a gorgeous woman?

I felt moved to give it a try. If it didn’t work, then OK. But at least I would have given it a shot.

And so I went home and ordered flowers to be sent to the school the next week, arriving just before I would be in the school for the final time before a six week period at sea. I had a very narrow window of opportunity. The note with the flowers asked her to go to dinner with me at a local restaurant named Annabelles.

The next week, I was in the school and completed my volunteer time. I had not seen the assistant principal yet and began to feel as if it wasn’t going to work out. I started to walk the hallway to leave the building and as I did, she came around the corner and we met. There was no one else in the hallway at the time and I’ll never forget the simple conversation that ensued.

For this woman, looking as beautiful as ever, looked me in the eyes and said, “I loved the flowers you sent me. And the answer is ‘yes’.”

I don’t know if there’s been a more magical moment in my life than that one right there. I was going to dinner with a woman who would be the envy of any man. She wanted to be with a guy like me! 

That night, dinner became an extension of that magical moment. I think we sat holding hands and talking for three hours before we ordered our food. I thought they were going to close before we would finish. We were enjoying being together that much on just our first night out. I realized then that this woman had more than just outer beauty. She had an inner beauty, a heart for God that far exceeded her striking outward appearance.

In other words, she had the total package and after that night, we would embark on a journey together that has led to this day when I get to write about her and praise her outer and inner beauty, an inner and outer beauty that has only grown over all the time we have been blessed to be together.

This appreciation for the beauty of your mate, man to woman, is one of five principles of a loving, Godly relationship we find from the scriptures as we examine Solomon speaking about his love Shulammite. His complimentary words jump off the page at you and show you the sincere admiration he had for the special woman in his life. Solomon saw Shulammite as:

- A lily among thorns.

- Altogether beautiful.

- Flawless, majestic and overwhelming.

- Graceful and pleasing.

He appreciated every part of his woman and spent time complimenting everything about her, from her head to her feet. Nothing was left unmentioned. Everything about her was valued.

Friends, this is the kind of love, man to woman, that we all should be striving for if we don’t have it already. In Solomon, we all have a great role model in how we should appreciate the beauty of the woman God has blessed us with, the woman we get to live and love and learn with through this thing called life.

I’m so grateful He has given me my beautiful Grace and I look forward to many more years of joy and love, shared together with the God who brought us together and leads us in the paths of His righteousness to the places where we can glorify and magnify Him in all that we do.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

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