SUPPORTING LOVING, GODLY RELATIONSHIPS (PART 3 – CARE AND SHOW INTEREST)

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In Christ, Mark

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The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.

How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women? How is your beloved better than others, that you so charge us?

Come back, come back, O Shulammite; come back, come back, that we may gaze on you!

Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?

Song of Songs 5:9; 6:13; 8:5

This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

How can we support loving, Godly relationships?

So far in the scripture study from the Song of Songs, we have seen that we can rejoice and praise couples, offering them encouragement along the way. Today, we’ll explore the importance of caring and showing interest in them.

You see, no person is an island entirely of themselves. We are all in this thing called life together and no one should ever feel they are isolated, abandoned and alone. We have an innate need to be loved and wanted and God is always there to fill that need. He also works through people like you and me to ensure people always feel valued and never forsaken.

The same applies for couples although we often tend to not be as eager to be involved with people in the midst of relationship as we are when they are single. There’s this tendency to feel like it’s not our business to get involved in matters between two people. It’s taboo and considered to be treading on territory that is forbidden. And so we stand off and too often watch relationships disintegrate and then implode all together without doing anything. Perhaps, we would be better off to show interest in what is going on, to show compassion and caring for two people out of love for them, just as we would show if they were two individuals struggling with life.

Perhaps, more relationships would repair themselves if we did. Perhaps, they would even begin to flourish and then remain that way. But one thing’s for sure. Neither of these two things will happen if we simply stand on the sidelines and do nothing.

Looking at the dialogue of the friends in the Song of Songs, we see some specific examples where caring and interest is shown toward Solomon and Shulammite, the man and woman so deeply in love.

1. How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women? How is your beloved better than others, that you so charge us? Song of Songs 5:9

The friends in this instance are showing a great interest in the qualities of Solomon, qualities that have left Shulammite so faint in love (5:8). In this chapter, Shulammite has enlisted the help of the friends (also referred to as the Daughters of Jerusalem) to find Solomon, the man she missed and longed for so very much. In response to her request, the friends ask about what makes Solomon so special, so much better than the others. Shulammite had exhorted the friends to wait until the right person came into their life to love, to not arouse love until it so desires. We get a sense here that the friends are interested in having the kind of love Shulammite had and thus felt the right man would have similar qualities to Solomon.

And so here, we find caring as the friends partner with Shulammite to help her locate her love and interest in all the things about Solomon that made Shulammite so faint in love with him. As we look to support loving, Godly relationships, we can make ourselves available to help, to be there for either partner when a need might arise. Consistent checking in on how people are doing can often reveal needs that exist. And people who know you care will be more likely to reach out for help, just as Shulammite reached out to her friends.

We may also be connected to relationships that seem to be models for how two people should love one another. These relationships may make our own feel incomplete and expose areas where we need to improve. Perhaps in these instances, we can gain a great deal by showing interest in couples and the way their relationship is the way it is. I know Grace and I have had this happen many times through the years we have been together. It has really opened up opportunities for us to share the Lord, who is the authority over our marriage and our lives, with other couples, hoping they too will surrender their relationship to His will and way, hoping they will seek to love one another as He loves.

For if we are to thrive and survive in relationship, the Lord has to be first and our number one focus. His desires must be our desires. He cares for us deeply and we need to care for one another the same, within our relationships and then as an extension as we care for other couples.

2. Come back, come back, O Shulammite; come back, come back, that we may gaze on you! Song of Songs 6:13

Part of caring for people is desiring to be with them, cherishing their companionship and letting them know they are wanted. In the instance of Shulammite, her friends missed her and longed for her to be with them. It’s important to remain connected with friends, even when in the midst of a loving, Godly relationship, and it’s always a blessing to know you have people who first, value you, and second, want to spend time in fellowship with you.

I have a friend I have known for a long time now. We have stayed connected through the years, although we are both in long standing, committed relationships. It has been a comfort for both of us through the years to know we can pick up the phone and call one another at any time and for any reason. I count his caring and interest in me and my life as a blessing and I know he feels the same way about me.

Maybe you have a similar connection in your life. If so, then you know how much of a gift it is from God. If you’re not connected in fellowship with another, I would recommend you consider it. Remember, we are not an island in and of ourselves. We were created by God for community and fellowship with Him and one another.

3. Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved? Song of Songs 8:5

The relationship between Solomon and Shulammite was obviously one that was adored and admired by their friends, so much so that they savored every moment they saw them together. Here the friends show interest in the deep intimacy present in the relationship, Solomon and Shulammite emerging from the wilderness with Shulammite leaning on her beloved Solomon, her soul mate, the one she treasured.

God’s word is encouraging us through the actions of these friends to care for couples, showing interest in their relationships as well as in each partner within the relationship. We’re to encourage couples to continue to love as God intended them to love and support them when the need arises for help. We’re to value the aspects of their relationship that make it special and distinct, giving thanks to the God who brought them together and sustained them. We’re to look for relationships that are loving and Godly in nature and then seek to model our own relationships after them.

And most of all, we’re to give all glory, honor, and praise to the God who brings people together in fellowship, whether in the intimate closeness  of partnership or in a supporting role as friends of the couple, the God who allows us to love and live and learn during this thing called life.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

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