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In Christ, Mark
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The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.
Moses said to the heads of the tribes of Israel: "This is what the Lord commands: When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said.”
"When a young woman still living in her father's house makes a vow to the Lord or obligates herself by a pledge and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand. But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the Lord will release her because her father has forbidden her.”
“If she marries after she makes a vow or after her lips utter a rash promise by which she obligates herself and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her, then her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. But if her husband forbids her when he hears about it, he nullifies the vow that obligates her or the rash promise by which she obligates herself, and the Lord will release her.”
"Any vow or obligation taken by a widow or divorced woman will be binding on her.”
"If a woman living with her husband makes a vow or obligates herself by a pledge under oath and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her and does not forbid her, then all her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. But if her husband nullifies them when he hears about them, then none of the vows or pledges that came from her lips will stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the Lord will release her. Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself. But if her husband says nothing to her about it from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or the pledges binding on her. He confirms them by saying nothing to her when he hears about them. If, however, he nullifies them some time after he hears about them, then he is responsible for her guilt."
These are the regulations the Lord gave Moses concerning relationships between a man and his wife, and between a father and his young daughter still living in his house.
Numbers 30
This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.
Promises or commitments. Both typically result from one person making a pact with another.
Sometimes this pact can be in the form of a signed agreement like a contract but most of the time it’s done less formal, usually in the form of a verbal statement from one person to another by way of an oath or vow, a promise or pledge.
Of course, this isn’t just a modern day behavior. For as we look at the Book of Numbers, we see where the matter of making vows was very prevalent in Old Testament times, so much so that God gives guidance on the matter to Moses. This guidance came in the form of regulations that regarding “relationships between a man and his wife, and between a father and his young daughter still living in his house”. And so in this instance, the direction on making vows, pledges, oaths, or any form promised obligation was within the context of family relationships.
Within the family the father had full responsibility and accountability for raising his daughter as long as she was living within his household and so she wasn’t to make any promise without first consulting him about it. This was rooted firmly in the fifth of the ten commandments given from God to Moses in the twentieth chapter of Exodus, “Honor your father and mother” (v.12) for a daughter consulting their father was expected as a matter of respect.
Going to our scripture passage, we see that if the daughter’s vow is known by the father and he “says nothing to her” then she is expected to fulfill it along with “every pledge by which she obligated herself” for the father’s lack of response was equal to him approving. However, if the “father forbids her when he hears about it”, then “none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand” because “the Lord will release her” from her promise due to the father’s disapproval.
In other words, the Heavenly Father would honor the decision of the earthly father.
The second matter addressed by God is the matter of vows and paths taken by a wife within the confines of a marital relationship. Notice here this also includes a matter of approval required by the husband in regard to any promise made by the wife, once again a privilege extended to the husband out of respect for him being the head of his household.
It seems that too many marital relationships in the times of Numbers, like so many marriages today, suffered from the lack of proper communications and given that communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, a marriage needs it in order to survive. Unfortunately, too many decisions are made within marriages where either the husband or wife does something without consulting their spouse and this usually leads to strain and conflict within the relationship. This is a large reason why we find God addressing the issue in the second part of this passage.
Once again, we should note that the validation of the wife’s vow was contingent on the husband’s approval, just as it was in the case of the daughter. If the wife would utter a “rash promise by which she obligates herself” and “her husband hears about it but says nothing to her”, then “her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand”. Again, the husband lack of response indicated his approval. However, “if her husband” forbid her when he heard about her “rash promise”, then he would nullify “the vow that obligates her or the rash promise by which she obligates herself and the Lord will release her”. With this, we can see where no promises could be made by the wife without the husband knowing about them, a matter of respect in the marriage between the two partners.
You know, a passage like this tends to peak people’s interest and even drive them to a point of frenzy because they will view it as too controlling as the daughter or wife wouldn’t be permitted to make a decision on their own free from the father/husband’s approval. They view the scriptures through a modern lens instead of the cultural context by which God’s commands applies more than 2,000 years ago.
But maybe we need to take a step back and ask ourselves if our modern day, worldly approaches to relationships within the family are really working well. For we see many spouses free-wheeling within their marriages as if they are really single, doing whatever they want to do regardless of how their husband feels. And when daughters see this kind of behavior, their mother not respecting their father, then they think they can do the same thing. The end result becomes dysfunctional family units that rarely survive as tragedy emerges in the form of combative divorces and/or teenage daughters addicted to drugs or becoming pregnant after engaging in inappropriate sexual intimacy before adulthood.
We should open our eyes and see that the worldly, free-wheeling attitude within families isn’t working out.
Thankfully, we find structure in the Bible from the very Words of a perfect God, Words breathed out by Him (2 Timothy 3:16) with authority and power. And because they come from a perfect Lord, then the Words are valid and true because He doesn’t error or deceive. Further, His wisdom transcends our limited knowledge and understanding for the scriptures tell us that His foolishness is wiser than our wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:25).
The bottom line is that there is no better direction for our lives, and this includes our family relationships, than what we find in the Bible and we honor God’s authority and wisdom by being absolutely obedient to His Word, will, and way, all of which have been given for us to gain the best out of life, not to harm us. All we need to do is submit to Him in all things.
As for our marriages and parenting, we are to ensure that we honor the people within those relationships by communicating with them before we make a vow or promise binding. Perhaps if we would just be obedient to God’s Word and keep everything up front, we would have much less deception going on which would nurture peace instead of disagreement.
Just one more point we need to remember.
God sees everything and so there is nothing we do that is hidden. As we operate within our marital and parental relationships, we should do so knowing that God is watching what we do and will take action depending on our behavior, bringing blessing or correction. Trying to conceal from others doesn’t mean we will get away with deceit for the truth is that no one ever truly gets away with anything.
Friends, we need to keep in mind that the Lord has shown us how to properly make promises through the way He does it. For He is always true to His Word and when He pledges to do something, He always makes good on it. This should buoy us up with joy and hope as we read the following scripture passages:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
“…be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5-6
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
“…but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever; He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:8-12
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” John 3:16-17
My brothers and sisters, these are just a few of many blessed assurances that we find the Lord giving us through His perfect Word. Maybe you have some others that share a special place in your heart and mind. If so, please leave a comment to this message and give any testimony as to how that particular promise from God blessed you. I would love to hear about it.
I hope we see through today’s message how there is power in a promise when it is done properly. When we make one, we need to do it in the same spirit as our Lord, ever staying faithful to our word. This applies to vows we make to Him as well as those we make to one another. When it comes right down to it, let us commit to being as true to God and others as He is to us. If we commit ourselves to Jesus as we should as Christians, it’s a goal we can reach.
Amen.
In Christ,
Mark
PS: Feel free to leave a comment and please share this with anyone you feel might be blessed by it. Send any prayer requests to TheChristianWalkPrayers@gmail.com.
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