BEING A TRUE FRIEND

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In Christ, Mark

The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.

Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Proverbs 17:9, 17:17  

This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

How many people do you consider to be your friend?

I’m not talking about the Facebook-driven, virtual entity, social media kind of friend. I’m talking about a plain, old fashioned, flesh and blood friend.

The answer may depend on the definition of friend. For many people get the word friend confused with the word acquaintance and they are far from the same.

In my life, I have many, many acquaintances, too many to count actually but as for friends, they are small in number. This is because the word “friend” carries with it a special significance that the world has watered down (Did I mention the Facebook use of the word “friend”?)

If you don’t believe my words here, perhaps you should take a peek at this proverb which is central to today’s message, a proverb that defines in sixteen words what a friend is supposed to be and gives us a measuring point as we assess whether someone we know is a friend or merely an acquaintance. Here’s the proverb:

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17

Note here the central point of determining whether someone is truly your friend.

They must love at all times.

All times.

It doesn’t say to love whenever they feel like it or to love you only when they agree with you or to love you when it’s too their advantage to do so. It doesn’t say they are to only love you when you are experiencing good times or to love you only when your life (or theirs) is free from challenge or to love you only when you haven’t wronged them in some way.

No, it says a friend loves at ALL times, no matter what. A true friend is to be like a brother (or sister) to you, like a family member who never abandons you, no matter what your life circumstances are. A friend who is your brother or sister is born for times of adversity and they see that there is power in numbers. In other words, two can get through an issue easier than one if they work together to support one another.

This kind of brotherly love that is unfailing is the definition of what a friend really is to be. Anyone that does not fit this description is simply an acquaintance. They have fallen below the bar set by God’s word as to what a friend should be.

This leads me to a second question I believe this scripture poses to us today. For it’s not just enough to step back and reassess the people we call friends to see if they meet the biblical definition. No, we must also look within ourselves and see how we are sizing up when it comes to being friends to others.

The questions this verse presents are as follows:

Are you a true friend to others?

Do you love at all times?

Are you a brother or sister to those you would consider yourself a friend to, born to deal with times of adversity?

Now, you’re going to maybe say, Mark, you’re crazy writing this message. For if what you say is true, no one can truly be a friend because no one loves perfectly at all times.

To that, I would say that you are absolutely correct. None of us can love perfectly at all times, at least not on our own. This is why we need Jesus Christ, the only One who loves perfectly, the only One who is closer to us than any brother or sister. The old hymn proclaimed the following:

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,

all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge;          take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In his arms he'll take and shield thee; thou wilt find a solace there.

Indeed, we all have a friend in Jesus who will ever love us unconditionally and never leave us nor forsake us, no matter what adversities life might bring. And when we allow Jesus to live and abide fully within our hearts and minds, when we choose to allow His Holy Spirit to consume and overtake us, when we commit ourselves to live in a way where His will rules supreme over our own, then and only then will we have a hope to be the kind of friend defined by the proverb.

Won’t you join me in praying over this and making a renewed commitment to be the kind of friend to others that Jesus, our Savior, is to us?

He’s ready to show us all how to be a true friend, now and forever.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

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