Friday, February 8, 2008

SEXUAL VALUES

Can I pray for you in any way? Send any prayer requests to faithhopegodlove@aol.com In Christ, Mark

"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins." Exodus 22:16-17

God transitions from the matter of stealing and restitution to a serious matter which not only afflicts our society today.

The matter at hand in today’s scripture is sexual relation outside of marriage. Specifically, it deals with a virgin who is seduced to sleep with a man who she is not pledged to be married to. To understand the severity of this, we need to understand the culture of the time.

In Israel as in other parts of the Middle East, everything in a family carried with it great value to include every family member. Virgin women were of particular value because they would bring to a family financial gain once a wedding contract had been put in place between a prospective groom and the bride’s family. The groom would agree to pay the "bride-price" (sometimes also referred to as the dowry) to the bride’s family in exchange for taking her to him for marriage. If it sounds like a commerce exchange, you’re right because in essence that’s what it was. The groom was purchasing the bride for himself from the family with the bride price serving as compensation for the loss of a family member.

So what happened if the bride was not a virgin? Her value would diminish greatly as grooms were interested in marrying a woman who had not been a partner with any other man. And if she had already given birth to a child, this further dropped her value as a groom would typically be interested in a woman who would first bear a child to him.

Back to our scripture. You can probably see now why this matter was a big deal. The man seducing the girl was essentially stealing away her value. This would not go by without consequence. For as you can see, he was required to not only "pay the bride-price" but also marry the now ex-virgin ("she shall be his wife"). Further, the marriage could be stopped by the father of the ex-virgin if he flat out rejected his daughter marrying the man who stole away her virginity. Nonetheless, the man who lay with the virgin "must still pay the bride-price for virgins." No matter what happened, the family was going to be compensated.

So why is this a problem today? Well, in many Middle Eastern countries, this practice still happens today. There are still marriage contracts entered into. There still are bride-prices paid. And, there are still virgins who are being violated by men ahead of the woman entering into a binding marriage contract. So the scripture from over 2,000 years ago still applies today.

But what about in other countries where this is not practiced? Is it still permissible for people to have sex before marriage? I think this scripture clearly shows that God is not in favor of it. Why? Because it always brings devaluation with it. I will give you several examples:

1. It devalues sex as God intended it to be. Each of us are special in our own ways. Just as there are no two snowflakes alike, so too are there never two people who are exactly alike. Even identical twins, who share so many physical similarities, will have different personalities and mannerisms. Indeed, God has made us unique but yet has given us similar gifts to experience and enjoy life while living for Him. One of those gifts is the gift of sexual relations…the intended consummation of love between a man and woman after they are married. Sexual relations take marital love to a higher plane and carry with it an additional special gift…the gift of reproduction. God intended for married couples to have the opportunity to have children and experience the joy of parenting a child He entrusts to them for care. Premarital sex cheapens the special nature of sex as God intended and removes its significance. Today, people don’t hesitate to "hook up" just to have sex without regard to the possible outcome (i.e. sexual disease, pregnancy). Too often, they not only devalue sex but themselves in the process. Many a man or woman or both have been mentally and/or physically scarred forever because of sexual relations out of wedlock. Maybe if we could just promote these stories more, less people would practice pre-marital sex but Satan wouldn’t want that. He has taken our world to a place where sex is an anything goes proposition. I can’t help but think how this must sadden God.

2. It devalues marriage. Why do you think there are so many divorces today? Because people don’t take commitment seriously. After all, "hooking up" doesn’t require commitment and this is why so many people love doing it. Well, there’s a steep price that society pays for this because people never develop a sense of staying faithful to someone for the rest of their life. (Remember when marriage used to mean that?) They don’t value their mate because they don’t see them as unique and special in every way to include sexually. Marriage is just a more advanced version of "hooking up" and if it doesn’t work out then we always have an out clause called divorce. Too often, it "doesn’t work out" because either the husband or wife decides it’s fine to still "hook up" even after they are married. Look at the statistics on infidelity and marriage. They are staggering but they also prove my point. Marriage has been devalued by pre-marital sexual activity.

Beyond all the analysis, the bottom line is that God does not support pre-marital sexual activity. Refusing to be obedient to His expectation is flat out disrespect toward Him and devalues His efforts to establish sanctity in marriage. Do yourself and God a favor. Value yourself, value the special nature of sex, value the unique quality of marriage, and value God enough to listen to His commands. And in the words of James, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

In Christ,

Mark

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