Can I pray for you in any way? Send any prayer requests to faithhopegodlove@aol.com In Christ, Mark
"Jacob was angry and took Laban to task. "What is my crime?" he asked Laban. "What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us. "I have been with you for twenty years now. Your sheep and goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten rams from your flocks. I did not bring you animals torn by wild beasts; I bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me for whatever was stolen by day or night. This was my situation: The heat consumed me in the daytime and the cold at night, and sleep fled from my eyes. It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times. If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked you." Laban answered Jacob, "The women are my daughters, the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks. All you see is mine. Yet what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about the children they have borne? Come now, let's make a covenant, you and I, and let it serve as a witness between us." So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. He said to his relatives, "Gather some stones." So they took stones and piled them in a heap, and they ate there by the heap. Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, and Jacob called it Galeed. Laban said, "This heap is a witness between you and me today." That is why it was called Galeed. It was also called Mizpah, because he said, "May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. If you mistreat my daughters or if you take any wives besides my daughters, even though no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me." Laban also said to Jacob, "Here is this heap, and here is this pillar I have set up between you and me. This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you and that you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me. May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us." Jacob took an oath in the name of the Fear of his father Isaac. He offered a sacrifice there in the hill country and invited his relatives to a meal. After they had eaten, they spent the night there. Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home." Genesis 31:36-55
Have you ever been at odds with another person? I think we all can think of a time when we have been. It seems inevitable that when imperfect people relate to one another that imperfections can arise within that relationship. What is not so inevitable is how we respond to these relationship imperfections as they happen. Response results run the gamut from full forgiveness and reconciliation to perpetual hatred for another or others. I think the way clear to making sure our response is just as inevitable in a positive way as imperfections are in a negative one comes in turning to the One who is constant in all situations. We should ask ourselves, "What does God require?" and then respond in accordance to how He guides us. Let’s take a look at our scripture today.
We pick up where we left off…with Jacob and Laban engaged in a rather heated exchange over Jacob leaving Laban with his wives, children and possessions without telling Laban. This caused Laban to travel a week to catch Jacob and confront him. Laban isn’t just mad about the fact that Jacob left without giving him a chance to say goodbye to his daughters and grandchildren. He’s also upset that his household idols were stolen. Jacob isn’t aware of it but Rachel had taken them before they left and now concealed them from her father by sitting on them while on her camel. Laban, searching throughout the tents of Jacob and his people, fails to find his idols and this further angers Jacob who has had enough.
With plenty of built up frustration for his uncle, Jacob tells Laban, "What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us. I have been with you for twenty years now. Your sheep and goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten rams from your flocks. I did not bring you animals torn by wild beasts; I bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me for whatever was stolen by day or night. This was my situation: The heat consumed me in the daytime and the cold at night, and sleep fled from my eyes. It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times. If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked you." Jacob’s words are an accurate indictment on Laban and his inappropriate actions. Laban took advantage of Jacob and the blessings he brought with him…special blessings bestowed upon him and others around him by God Himself…the same God that appeared to Laban before he reached Jacob’s camp to warn him not to respond inappropriately to Jacob when he encountered him. One can’t help but think God’s words echoed loud and clear in Laban’s head as Jacob spoke. God was involved in this dispute before it happened and He is about to enter in during it to guide Jacob and Laban toward His will.
After Jacob finishes, Laban makes a simple statement to explain his feelings as well. Jacob’s wives are Laban’s daughters…his children are Laban’s grandchildren…even his flock came from Laban’s…so we can see where Laban, out of love for his offspring and their offspring, would feel the way he did. We can also see where Jacob had every right to feel the way he did. The critical importance of their conversation comes in just that…they communicated their feelings, one unto the other, and cleared the air. Additionally important, they listened to one another.
This communication opened up doors of concession between the two relatives who had been at odds. I think both men, if totally looking at the matter objectively, would admit that they were wrong in some way in how they handled things. Jacob would say that he could have went to Laban and given him one last chance to say goodbye before he departed. Laban would say that he should have treated Jacob better and with honesty instead of deceitfulness. As both men were willing to humble themselves and see where they had errored, they began to stand on common ground…just where God expected them to stand. For God is present where forgiveness, reconciliation and resurrected love occurs. Common ground becomes holy ground as well.
Question: Who are you at odds with today? Have you tried to communicate and resolve the matter at hand, seeking concessions and God’s will for the matter as you try to move toward forgiveness and reconciliation? Just as important, have you prayed and asked God to enter in and guide you to what you should do in reconciling the matter at hand? This is critical because if you try to work it out on your own, you’ll only mess it up. The Lord has to be present in the process if it is going to be legitimate and lasting.
The Lord was certainly with Jacob and Laban in their matter. In a situation that had a lot of potential to get ugly, we see just the opposite happen. Jacob and Laban make a covenant with each other, breaking bread around a pile of stones…stones symbolic of their reconciliation. Satisfied that his daughters and grandchildren would be fine, Laban kissed them goodbye and departed to return home.
There are several practical life application points that we can draw from this scripture to help us as we walk this Christian Walk. Through His word, the Lord is offering us three key steps to reconciliation:
1. Communication. Resolution of the matter between Jacob and Laban didn’t happen in earnest until they started to talk things over. And it just wasn’t about talking…it was also about listening. We tend to not want to do that right when we communicate with others. The old saying states that we were blessed with two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we talk. I’ve always remembered that saying so I might be reminded that listening is just as important if not more important than talking. Keep this in mind…communication is the lifeblood of relationship. Take it out of relationship and there isn’t much of a relationship at all. At the heart of broken or damaged relations, one can usually find a problem with communication. It’s absolutely critical that we make it a top priority.
One other important point to make about communication and effective relationship reconciliation: prayer is absolutely essential to success. As you prepare to talk out your differences, first pray with the person you’re about to talk with. Ask the Lord to enter in and lad you to resolution of your differences. Just as He is the Master of so many other things in life, He is the Master Reconcilor. Before you open up communications with one another, open up communications with the Father.
2. Concession. Once you have communicated to the Lord, invited Him into your situation, and then communicated with one another toward the goal of reconciliation, you will find yourself at the place of concession. The best form of concession is confession that leads to apology. In other words, after you have communicated your feelings and have listened to what the other person is feeling, you might find yourself apologizing for the mistakes you made in handling the matter. Maybe you got angry and said something hurtful to the other. Maybe you just decided to not speak to the person. Maybe you mistreated that person physically, verbally or both. Whatever the circumstances, it’s important to be able to humble yourself enough to say you are wrong if you truly are. Typically, in my experience, apology begets apology from the other person. In other words, you would say you’re sorry about the way you handled things and then the other person would say that they’re sorry as well for what they did. Once again, conceding that you both were wrong in some way brings you onto common ground that God is able to make holy as he repairs what was once broken. This leads to the last point.
3. Reconciliation. Jacob and Laban erected a pile of stones as a witness to their covenant agreement with one another. Reaching a place of understanding after communicating their feelings, the Lord guided them to break bread together and part ways amicably. The story that looked volatile at first ended in peace. That’s what the Lord does within our hearts when we truly invite Him in. He takes us to the place of peace and love and mercy and grace…and it is at that place that we are willing to find our way to forgiveness and reconciliation. The Father, through willingly offering up His only Son on the cross to be sacrificed for our sins, showed us the greatest expression of forgiveness and reconciliation ever known. The least we can do in our relations with one another is remember the depth of the love and mercy that the Father displayed for us…then remember that we were created n His own image. He has planted the seeds of forgiveness and reconciliation within our hearts. Allow Him to water them and grow them into full bloom in whatever conflicts you have had, you are having or are yet to have. My prayer is that you will find yourself once again breaking bread with your former adversary…who now has become your friend…your brother or sister in Christ Jesus, who set the bar for forgiveness and reconciliation for us all.
In Christ,
Mark
PS: Please share this with anyone you feel might be blessed by it.
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