Monday, November 25, 2013

THE NEED FOR DISCIPLINE




A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.
To have a fool for a child brings grief; there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool. 
A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him.
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 15:5, 17:21, 17:25, 19:18, 22:15  

This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

As I look back on the days of parenting my two children, there are lots of memories, memories of loads of good times we spent together filled with laughter and fun, memories of school years and the many accomplishments they brought to celebrate, memories of birthday and holiday revelry shared, and memories of numerous challenges we had to work through – challenges that often involved the need to discipline.

It’s that latter set of memories that seem to contradict the others. For the other memories are all good ones, ones we can rejoice and be glad in, ones we tend to want to remember and never let go.

Is it ever that way with the memories of our discipline?

I’ll be honest with you, I do not find those memories bubbling up to the surface to very often and it’s definitely not something I would bring up in a conversation with Dad and Mom during a holiday meal (i.e. “Hey, remember when you placed me on restriction for a whole month?”). Ditto for when I speak with my adult daughters and we definitely had to exercise disciplinary action when they were growing up.

No, we tend to shy away from or forget about the discipline our parents used on us or the discipline we used on our own children. That is, until we consider how we got to be where we are in life or when we end up having to parent ourselves or when we see our children grow up to be solid citizens as they live their own lives.

We don’t like to talk about discipline let’s be honest. It is necessary. God’s word seems to think so. Look at these proverbs:

A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence. Proverbs 15:5
To have a fool for a child brings grief; there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool. Proverbs 17:21 
A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him. Proverbs 17:25
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. Proverbs 19:18
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. Proverbs 22:15

Note here that the word of the Lord refers to one who either refuses to apply or rebut discipline as being a fool. What the Lord is saying to us today is that we need discipline in order to be the people He wants us to be. And as we are disciplined properly in the right ways to live, we hopefully will reach a place where we can self discipline ourselves, always checking our thoughts, words, and behaviors against God’s expectations to ensure all that we do brings glory to His name and is pleasing in His sight.

Look at the ways you can become a fool when it comes to the matter of discipline:

1. You’re a fool if you reject and despise your parent’s discipline.

A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence. Proverbs 15:5

Let’s face it. We all were fools when we were kids growing up. I don’t think there has ever been a man or woman who will go back and say they didn’t loathe their father or mother after getting in trouble and having consequences inflicted upon them. This at times led to rebellion. Instead of accepting the discipline as needed to make us the people we needed to be, we only saw injustice and unfairness.

Am I right?

But then something happened. We became older and grew into adulthood, maybe even becoming parents ourselves. And as we looked back on things, our parents didn’t seem to be the bad people we thought they were when they were correcting our wrongs. In fact, we began to see the wisdom in them we could never have seen when we were so foolish.

What’s the saying? “Your parents get smarter every day you get older.” I really believe this is true, at least for those who heeded the correction imparted on them, those who grew up to be prudent and discerning.

2. You’re a fool if you fail to discipline your children.

Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. Proverbs 19:18
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. Proverbs 22:15

The warnings cry out to us from these two verses. Spare the rod of discipline and your children will fall victim to the foolishness and folly that is innate within them. Let’s just call this what it is and that is sin for only sin leads a person to commit foolish acts. Sin does nothing short of lead a person to destruction as we know God hates sin and His wrath will come on whoever chooses it over righteousness. And so the rod is needed, necessary, and to be used in discipline. It helps produce the hope that your children will grow up to be the kind of people the Lord longs for them to be.

Now, let me say that the Bible supporting physical discipline to correct a child doesn’t give anyone the license or charter to abuse a child. Let’s be clear on that. Like any number of things in the scriptures, people can sinfully apply the word of God in their own ways to the excess and find themselves living in sin instead of the righteousness that the Lord intends. It all comes down to prayerfully consulting the Lord and praying over His word, will, and way before you apply discipline. He will always guide you right.

As a footnote to this, I will say that I was physically disciplined at times when I was a child and it had no adverse effect on my development as a loving, caring father. Just ask either of my two children and they will tell you that.

3. You’re a fool if you fail to discipline your child and teach them about the corrective nature of God’s word.

To have a fool for a child brings grief; there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool. Proverbs 17:21 
A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him. Proverbs 17:25

My wife and I made it a point to use the scriptures every time we had to discipline. The point was that we never wanted our children thinking we were correcting them off of our own will and desires. Our only will and desire was to do the will of the Father and that will was on clear display within His holy word.

This approach justified why we were correcting our children and although at times I think they didn’t really understand fully, they still were having the word of the Lord instilled within them. Yes, they got it when they were in the pew next to us at church and they got it while in church school and they certainly got it in plenty of non-corrective situations in the home but they also needed to get it when we had to correct their wrongs. They had to know that they were under the ultimate authority of the Lord who had entrusted us to raise them.

Friends, this is what makes godly children, children who grow up to understand that it’s foolish to live in any other way than the One lived who proclaimed He was the Way and the Truth and the Life (John 14:6). For He lived a life that was perfect in obedience unto His Father, our Father in heaven, and the expectation is that we will do likewise.

If that is to happen, we need discipline. Only a fool would think otherwise.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

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