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In Christ, Mark
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The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.
Jacob was angry and took Laban to task.
"What is my crime?" he asked Laban. "What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us.”
"I have been with you for twenty years now. Your sheep and goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten rams from your flocks. I did not bring you animals torn by wild beasts; I bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me for whatever was stolen by day or night. This was my situation: The heat consumed me in the daytime and the cold at night, and sleep fled from my eyes. It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times. If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked you."
Laban answered Jacob, "The women are my daughters, the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks. All you see is mine. Yet what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about the children they have borne? Come now, let's make a covenant, you and I, and let it serve as a witness between us."
So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. He said to his relatives, "Gather some stones." So they took stones and piled them in a heap, and they ate there by the heap.
Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, and Jacob called it Galeed. Laban said, "This heap is a witness between you and me today." That is why it was called Galeed. It was also called Mizpah, because he said, "May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. If you mistreat my daughters or if you take any wives besides my daughters, even though no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me."
Laban also said to Jacob, "Here is this heap, and here is this pillar I have set up between you and me. This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you and that you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me. May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us."
Jacob took an oath in the name of the fear of his father Isaac. He offered a sacrifice there in the hill country and invited his relatives to a meal. After they had eaten, they spent the night there.
Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home.
Genesis 31:36-55
This ends this reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.
Have you ever been at odds with another person?
I think we all can think of a time when we have been.
Frankly, the matter is really inevitable when we think about it because at the heart of any interaction, you find two imperfect people and this can lead to contention within even the best relationships.
Now, given this, what is not so inevitable is how we respond to these relationship imperfections as they happen. In other words, we do have a choice and our reactions can run the gamut from full forgiveness and reconciliation to perpetual hatred and resentment for someone.
So how do we work within these conflicts when they occur?
Certainly, I think the way to always make sure we respond the right way in these circumstances is to turn our attention to the One who is constant, no matter the situation. In other words, rather than using our own judgment on how to act, we need to turn to our Lord and seek His guidance. Then, we need to do exactly as He directs.
Need an example of what that looks like?
Let’s take a look at our scripture passage for today.
Jacob was angry and took Laban to task.
"What is my crime?" he asked Laban. "What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us.”
"I have been with you for twenty years now. Your sheep and goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten rams from your flocks. I did not bring you animals torn by wild beasts; I bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me for whatever was stolen by day or night. This was my situation: The heat consumed me in the daytime and the cold at night, and sleep fled from my eyes. It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times. If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked you."
Laban answered Jacob, "The women are my daughters, the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks. All you see is mine. Yet what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about the children they have borne? Come now, let's make a covenant, you and I, and let it serve as a witness between us."
So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. He said to his relatives, "Gather some stones." So they took stones and piled them in a heap, and they ate there by the heap.
Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, and Jacob called it Galeed. Laban said, "This heap is a witness between you and me today." That is why it was called Galeed. It was also called Mizpah, because he said, "May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. If you mistreat my daughters or if you take any wives besides my daughters, even though no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me."
Laban also said to Jacob, "Here is this heap, and here is this pillar I have set up between you and me. This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you and that you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me. May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us."
Jacob took an oath in the name of the fear of his father Isaac. He offered a sacrifice there in the hill country and invited his relatives to a meal. After they had eaten, they spent the night there.
Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home. Genesis 31:36-55
As we see in these verses, we are picking up where we left off yesterday with Jacob and Laban engaged in a rather heated exchange after Jacob departed his uncle’s company without notice, taking his wives, children, and possessions along. This led to Laban traveling a week to catch up with Jacob and confront him. As we saw in our prior message, Laban wasn’t just mad about the fact that Jacob left without giving him a chance to say goodbye to his daughters and grandchildren. He was also upset that his household idols were stolen, something that Jacob was unaware of. We learned that the idols were actually taken by Rachel who concealed them by sitting on them while mounted on her camel. Meanwhile, Laban searched through the tents of Jacob and his people and failed to find the idols which further agitated Jacob who we see was fed up with it all.
So with plenty of pent up frustration over his uncle’s behavior, we find Jacob saying the following to Laban:
“What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us. I have been with you for twenty years now. Your sheep and goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten rams from your flocks. I did not bring you animals torn by wild beasts; I bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me for whatever was stolen by day or night. This was my situation: The heat consumed me in the daytime and the cold at night, and sleep fled from my eyes. It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times. If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked you."
Jacob’s words were an accurate indictment of Laban and his inappropriate actions.
First, Laban took advantage of his nephew and the blessings he brought with him, special blessings from God that had been bestowed upon him and the others with him. The God who provided this abundance was the same exact God who appeared to Laban before he reached Jacob’s camp, warning him not to respond inappropriately to Jacob when he encountered him.
You know, one can’t help but wonder if those words from God weren’t echoing loud and clear in Laban’s head as Jacob dressed him down. Indeed, God was involved in this dispute before it happened and as we see in our passage, He is about to enter in the midst of the dispute to guide Jacob and Laban toward a resolution that is in step with His will.
Back to the scriptures where we find Laban making a simple statement to explain his feelings after Jacob finishes. He makes it clear that Jacob’s wives are his daughters and the children they bore were his grandchildren. Further, he goes on to remind Jacob that even the flock he owned came from his uncle. Ultimately, Laban seeks to build empathy for the way he was feeling, definitely by way of the way he loved his offspring and their offspring.
Conversely, we can also see where Jacob had every right to feel the way he did and the dialogue he shared with Laban was critically important towards reaching a favorable outcome, one that was pleasing in God’s sight. Both men cleared the air and as they did, they actually listened to one another.
Friends, this kind of open and honest communication of feelings opened up doors of concession between these two relatives who had been at odds before and I think both men, if they looked at the total matter would admit that they were each wrong in some way over how things were handled.
Jacob might realize that he could have gone to Laban and given him one last chance to say goodbye before he departed.
Laban could see that he should have treated Jacob better and with honesty instead of deceitfulness.
In this story, we actually find both men willing to humble themselves and see where they had erred and this was the first step toward standing on common ground with one another, just the place where God wanted them to stand.
We learn that when God is present, forgiveness, reconciliation, and renewed love can occur. It’s the place where common ground can also become holy ground as well.
With this, who are you at odds with today? Have you sought to talk the matter out with the person you are having conflict with? And of the utmost importance, have you turned to God, praying about the matter and asking for His guidance as you try and reach a place of forgiveness and reconciliation?
As we see in today’s scripture passage, the Lord was certainly with Jacob and Laban, entering into a situation that had a lot of potential to get ugly and producing an opposite outcome. For as we see, Jacob and Laban make a covenant with each other, breaking bread around a pile of stones, stones that would symbolize their reconciliation.
And now satisfied that his daughters and grandchildren would be fine, Laban kissed them goodbye and returned home.
Before I close, there are several practical life application points we can draw from in this story to help us live out our Christian life. Through His word, we find the Lord offering us three key steps to reconciliation:
1. Proper communication.
The resolution of the matter between Jacob and Laban didn’t happen in earnest until they started to talk things over. And it just wasn’t about talking, it was also about listening.
You know, we tend to do this badly in our own communication with others. We want to be heard more than we want to hear and I have always loved this old saying which carries a lot of wisdom in it. It goes like this:
“We were blessed with two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we talk.”
Think about how much our communication would improve if we just did this. For our commitment to listening would be greater than talking.
In the end translation, we find that communication is the lifeblood of relationship in life. If we take it out of relationship, then there won’t be much of a relationship at all. This is why we commonly find problems in communication at the heart of most broken or damaged relationships and so we need to see that it’s absolutely critical that we make it a top priority.
There’s one other important point to make about communication and effective relationship reconciliation for prayer is absolutely essential to success.
As you prepare to talk out your differences with another, first pray about the conversation before it happens. If the other person is willing to join you in prayer, even better.
In that prayer, ask the Lord to enter in and lead you to a resolution of your differences for just as He is the Master of all things in life, He is the Master Reconciler.
And so before you open up communications with another person, open up your communications with the Father first.
2. Be willing to concede.
Once you have communicated with the Lord, inviting Him into your situation, and then started communicating with someone to begin working toward the goal of reconciliation, you need to committed to finding places of concession and the best form of this is through a confession that leads to apology.
In other words, after you have communicated your feelings and have listened to what the other person is feeling, you should look to apologize for any mistakes you made in handling the matter.
Maybe you got angry and said something hurtful to the other person.
Maybe you just decided to not speak to the person at all, shutting them off.
Maybe you mistreated that person physically, verbally or both.
Whatever might have happened, it’s important to be willing to humble yourself enough to say you are wrong if you are.
Typically, in my experience, apology begets apology from the other person. In other words, when you say you’re sorry about the way you handled things, the other person typically will say they are sorry as well for what they did.
Like Jacob and Laban, two people conceding that they were both wrong in some way can bring them onto common ground that God is able to make holy as He repairs what was once broken.
And this leads to the last point.
3. The Lord makes reconciliation possible.
After resolving their issues, Jacob and Laban erected a pile of stones as a witness to their covenant agreement with one another and after reaching a place of understanding caused by communicating their feelings, the Lord guided them to break bread together and part ways amicably.
And so a story that looked volatile at first ended in peace.
This is what the Lord does within our hearts when we truly invite Him in. He takes us to a place of peace and love and mercy and grace, and it is in that place that we are able to find our way to forgiveness and reconciliation with one another.
Through His salvation plan, God the Father willingly offering up His only Son on the cross to be sacrificed for our sins, showed us the greatest expression of forgiveness ever known. And when anyone believes in Jesus as Savior, their new life in Christ brings them reconciliation from a God they were once enemies to because of sin.
Friends, if God can do this for us, the least we can do is treat others the same within our relationships, all the while remembering the depth of the love and mercy He has given us.
We were all created n His own image and He, the Lord, has planted the seeds of forgiveness and reconciliation within our hearts. All we need to do is allow Him to water them so that they might grow them into full bloom within disagreements when they happen.
My prayer for you today is that you will find yourself “breaking bread” with anyone you were once at odds with, seeing them now as a friend instead of an enemy as you show the grace and mercy of the Lord, reflecting His character in yours.
Amen.
In Christ,
Mark
PS: Feel free to leave a comment and please share this with anyone you feel might be blessed by it. Send any prayer requests to TheChristianWalkPrayers@gmail.com.
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