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In Christ, Mark
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The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
This ends today’s reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.
Should someone feel like they have to get married or remarried if they have become widowed?
The biblical answer is “It depends”.
Unfortunately, the worldly answer is expectedly different and this places pressure and stress on men and women.
This is because the world seems to always push people into marital relationships. It creates this false narrative that a person must have something wrong with them if they don’t marry, that they have flaws of one kind or another that make them unattractive to a person of the opposite sex when it comes to a lifelong relationship. And don’t let me even get started about the archaic practice of arranged marriages that still goes on in many parts of our world today.
As for widows, the world would always seek to drive a man or woman into a new relationship like it’s easy to start new again. I often think about how my life would change if my wife happened to pass away and I don’t believe I would want to get into another marriage if it was up to me. The Lord has blessed me so much in this marital relationship that I’m not sure I could ever have another one like it and so my inclination would be to remain a surviving spouse until the Lord comes for me, no matter what the world might say.
Given these worldly pressures regarding marriage and remarriage, I would wager that millions of people have been emotionally and psychologically damaged through the years but as we see in two simple verses from the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul debunks the theory that everyone needs to get married. Look again at his words here:
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Paul has a lot to say in this chapter about proper behavior within the context of a marriage and it requires a lot of self sacrifice between a man and a woman. Each has to put their personal desires aside to fully invest in the desires of their mate, yielding their bodies one to the other. Sexual relations are not permitted outside of the marriage as this intimacy is reserved for the husband and wife and them alone. Marriage is a locked in commitment, the scriptures make this very plain and simple.
Given this, men and women may not want to enter into such an arrangement. For any number of reasons, marriage may not seem like an attractive life option and Paul is saying that this is perfectly okay as he writes to the Christians in Corinth. He asserts that it is good to stay unmarried.
Why would he say this?
Because remaining single or widowed is better than jumping into marriage without an intention to sacrifice oneself fully to the partner. People who like living on their own and only having to contend with themselves should stay living like that as long as they can control their lust for sexual relations. Because of our physiological makeup, especially hormonally, celibacy seems like it is an impossibility. But if a person is fully in the Lord then He provides the strength and power to manage lust through self control, one of the fruits of the Spirit that Paul talks about in his letter to the Galatians (5:22-23). This counters the acts of the flesh which include all sorts of sexual sinfulness (5:19-21).
So it’s good for a man and woman to totally devote themselves, one unto the other, in marriage or remarriage.
It’s also perfectly fine for a man or a woman to choose to remain single or widowed.
Ultimately, this should always come down to the Lord’s will and what He wants because that’s what really counts, isn’t it?
In the prayer our Savior Jesus taught us, we make this proclamation:
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done.”
Jesus teaches us to ask God for His will to be done and this should apply to all parts of our life. If you are contemplating marriage or remarriage, place it in God’s hands and ask for His will to be done in the matter. The outcome, whether marriage or remarriage, whether remaining single or widowed, will be perfect because He willed it to be so.
Amen.
In Christ,
Mark
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comment and please share this with anyone you feel might be blessed by it.
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